Get Better At Self Care With The Self Care Check-In

May 26, 2022

The Self Care Check-In is a foundational skill and tool that not only installs ease into the body but is also a skill that helps us cultivate ease long term.

First all, EASE is a state of the nervous system where the body is in parasympathetic balance. To learn a little more about Understanding Ease check out this article.

The concept of Ease relates to a foundational place of the nervous system that is NOT in an active stress state. This doesn’t mean that you are completely relaxed and lethargic, but that you are awake and aware and your body is functioning primarily in the parasympathetic nervous system, AKA the rest-digest-reproduce system.

It is impossible to completely avoid stress and the stress response. It is actually ideal that we have a stress response because it impacts our survival as individuals and as a species.

What we DO want is a RESILIENT nervous system. We want the majority of our time to be spent in an ease state over a stress state and to be able to bounce back quickly when we inevitably get overwhelmed and triggered.

To support that resiliency in the nervous system, the self care check in is an invaluable tool. It is when we pause and check in with what is happening in the body AND how our context is effecting our physiology.

Hold up! Are you an auditory learner? Feel free to LISTEN to this article in podcast format ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

Once we can become present with what is happening inside the body, we are able to make choices about self care and long term wellness behaviors. We can figure out how to support more ease in the body, either through effecting the general functioning of the anatomy and physiology, or through self regulation practices.

This is called somatic intelligence.

SOMATIC INTELLIGENCE

In a practical way Somatic intelligence is understanding how the body responds to stress and using that knowledge to inform our day to day choices, routines, and to make self care interventions. Somatic intelligence also involves understanding how our body responds to substances and behaviors to support a regulated nervous system.

SOMATIC AWARENESS

To develop somatic intelligence, we need to have somatic awareness.

Somatic awareness is the awareness of what is happening in the body in the moment. It is being able to decipher and articulate the messages your body is sending, your urges, and so on.

On some level, somatic awareness is very easy. We can think of it as the language of the body.

It might include noticing that you are very hot, noticing that you are hungry and having stomach grumblings. It is awareness that your heart rate is speeding up or that you have the urge to use the bathroom.

These are what I like to call the “obvious” messages that are really easy to notice and decipher. You probably know what hunger feels like. You know what being sleepy feels.

We also have some not-so-obvious messages that take time and practice to notice and understand before we are able to address them or to allow them to change our habits and behavior:

For example, four people might say they are tired but they all might be tired for different reasons.

One person could be tired because of a blood sugar imbalance, which feels different from not getting enough sleep. This is different than being tired due to an autoimmune flare which is distinct from exhaustion due to too much mental activity. Furthermore, someone could be tired because they are dehydrated.

All of these issues can show up and = being tired, but being able to tell the difference between all these types of tired will be important in figuring out how to feel better.

Being able to notice and articulate our more obscure body messages of the body is an important skill that we are not taught. It is very rarely part of our upbringing and it is vital in the management of chronic ailments and in the prevention of long term health complications.

We develop somatic awareness and thus somatic intelligence by sharpening our interoception.

INTEROCEPTION

Interoception is the sense perception of what is happening inside of our body. It is the the ability to identify, access, understand, and respond appropriately to the patterns of internal signals.

Somatic Awareness is the practice of using interoception to check in with what is going on in the body. Using that information to make decisions about how to care fo the body is somatic intelligence.

Having strong interoceptive skills aka good somatic awareness is a precursor to somatic intelligence. One could ultimately define self care as the practical application of Somatic intelligence

SOMATIC INTELLIGENCE IN ACTION

Let’s say we have a whole set of classic self care tools and techniques laid out on a table:

Taking a walk
Reading a book
Meditation
A bath
Face mask
Taking to a friend
Going to therapy
Nap
Creative activity
Yoga
Drink water
Stretch
Journaling

How do we know which of those self care tools or wellness intervention to actually use?

We need to know where we are
We need to know where we want to go
What steps will take us from point a to b.

The first step is that we need to know where we are and what we are experiencing in the body. Thus, we have the SELF CARE CHECK IN.

Without knowing what is actually happening in your body, it is going to be difficult to actually select a self care intervention that supports long term wellness outcomes.

The only way we are going to be able to intervene into what is happening int he body and to feel better, is to pay attention to what your body is doing because, the state of the nervous system is going to show up in the functioning of the body, as well as the mind.

Here is the process of the self care check in:

Pause
Notice
Articulate
Action

THE STEPS

STEP 1: Pause

The first step is pausing from what ever we are doing. I suggest closing your eyes, and taking a few deep breaths to transition from observing the outside world, to attending to your internal world.

When you have “arrived” as deeply into the present moment as you are going to get, move on to step 2.

STEP 2: NOTICE

Start by noticing what there is to notice. What is the loudest thing in the body? What is the strongest and most obvious sensation?

You can also check in with the systems, functions, and basic needs.

Consider the following:

Muscular tension
Breathing quality
Thirst, hunger, and blood sugar balance
Digestive system
Respiratory system
Muscles, bones, and joints
Mental and physical energy levels
Mental processes and functioning

I also suggest opening your awareness to the context of your life in the step and tying any strings between what is happening in your body on a physiological level, and what is happening in your life.

Stress, whether that be good or bad, will show up in the body and the nervous system. As life circumstances fluctuate it is important to adjust how you tend to your body as well.

Having a busy work week might not be that big of a deal normally but having a busy work week while someone you love is in the hospital could be too overwhelming.

Once we tune in fully to the body and the landscape of life, the move to step 3.

STEP 3: ARTICULATE

In step 3, articulate you experience.

Being able to articulate what you are experiencing in the body is another important foundational skill of self care.

In Ayurveda, we learn that if you can name what you are experiencing in the body, you can name your medicine.

If you are unsure of where to start try describing the following:

Physical sensations
Mental experiences
Emotional sensations

Over time and with practice, you can become more articulate and you can better translate the experience of the body into English.

Once you put into language what you are experiencing int he body, you can move on to step 4.

STEP 4: ACTION

This is where you actually get to decide what interventions you will take to bring the body back into balance.

This is called SPONTANEOUS SELF CARE as opposed to a self care routine.

These action steps are like the first aid self care that you use to bring the stress level down a few notches. You will know it works because your stress symptoms and sensations will be soothed.

You can always look here for some options but this is not a comprehensive list.

A SELF CARE CAVEAT

One you have done your self care check-in, it’s time to implement your insights.

As you navigate this process, one thing to remember is that sometimes, what makes us feel better in the moment, may not actually bring us into balance long term.

For example, if you are a smoker and you feel agitated and need a cigarette, you will get a hit of nicotine and feel soothed and relaxed, but the cycle will just start all over again.

There is a difference between behaviors and interventions that ACTUALLY make us feel better long term and those that are just perpetuating a cycle.

Furthermore, sometimes the interventions that we need to take to bring the body back into balance and into a state of ease will feel like friction. They may directly rub against pleasure centers and instant gratification and be uncomfortable.

It’s okay to be a little uncomfortable. Uncomfortable doesn’t mean stressed in the nervous system. Discomfort isn’t always the opposite of ease and while I don’t believe in beneficial suffering, there is an element of discomfort we need to be in good relationship with because it’s a part of life.

You get to decide how much discomfort is helpful discomfort.

Now, your assignment is to practice the self care check in! If you need help, download the guided self care check in recording and PDF handout and bonus points if you send me a message or DM and tell me how it goes!